When and why to consult a psychologist after a death
Introduction
The loss of a loved one profoundly disrupts our emotional and psychological balance. Whilst grief is a natural reaction to death, its intensity and duration vary considerably from one person to another. Some navigate this ordeal surrounded by their loved ones, whilst others find themselves overwhelmed by emotions that paralyse their daily life.
Consulting a psychologist specialised in grief is neither an admission of weakness nor a sign of failure. On the contrary, it is a courageous step that allows you to put words to your suffering and gradually regain a life balance. As we explain in our article on the 5 stages of grief, each journey remains unique and non-linear.
But how do you know if psychological support is necessary? What signs should alert you? How do you choose the right professional? This guide helps you identify the moments when professional help becomes essential and supports you in your journey towards finding a path to peace.
📌 Summary (TL;DR)
Grief can sometimes exceed our natural coping abilities. Consulting a psychologist becomes necessary when intense emotional symptoms persist, daily life becomes unmanageable or suicidal thoughts appear. Specialised professional support allows you to navigate this ordeal with appropriate tools, without judgement, to gradually regain a life balance.
📚 Table of contents
The psychological impact of grief: a normal but sometimes complex reaction
Grief is a natural reaction to the loss of a loved one. It affects each person differently, with varied emotions: profound sadness, anger, guilt, confusion or even relief in certain situations.
These reactions are normal and part of the healing process. However, some people experience particularly intense or prolonged grief that can affect their mental health and daily life.
The grieving process is not linear. You may go through different emotional phases, sometimes unpredictably. To better understand these stages, consult our article on the 5 stages of grief.
Recognising when grief becomes too difficult to manage alone is essential. Psychological support may then become necessary to regain balance.
The signs that indicate professional help is necessary
Certain warning signals indicate that psychological support is becoming necessary. This is not about weakness, but about recognising one's limits when facing a difficult ordeal.
If you or a loved one present several of these symptoms persistently, consulting a psychologist specialised in grief can provide significant relief.
The manifestations of complicated grief affect several areas: emotional, behavioural, physical and social. Identifying these signs allows you to act before the situation worsens.
Do not wait until the suffering becomes unbearable. The earlier the support begins, the more effective it is in navigating this difficult period.
Emotional and behavioural symptoms
Emotional signs requiring consultation include intense sadness that persists beyond several months without improvement. Prolonged social isolation, where you systematically avoid your loved ones and usual activities, is also concerning.
Total loss of interest in activities that previously brought you pleasure constitutes a warning signal. Similarly, constant intrusive thoughts about the deceased that prevent any concentration.
Inability to resume your daily activities (work, shopping, hygiene) several weeks after the death deserves professional attention. Suicidal or self-destructive thoughts require immediate help.
These symptoms may be accompanied by excessive guilt or uncontrollable anger that affects your relationships.
Physical symptoms and daily life disruptions
Grief also manifests physically. Persistent sleep disturbances (insomnia or hypersomnia) lasting several weeks affect your overall health.
Significant weight loss or gain without medical reason other than grief constitutes a warning signal. Chronic fatigue that does not improve with rest indicates profound emotional exhaustion.
Neglect of personal hygiene and your environment often reveals significant distress. Increased consumption of alcohol, medication or other substances to "manage" the pain is particularly concerning.
Unexplained physical pain (headaches, digestive problems, muscle tension) can also reflect untreated psychological suffering.
When to consult a psychologist: key moments to ask for help
There is no universal "right time" to consult a psychologist after a death. Each situation is unique and deserves personalised assessment.
Certain contexts justify immediate consultation: traumatic grief (accident, violence), the death of a child, suicide, or when you present symptoms of post-traumatic stress. In these cases, early psychological support prevents complications.
For others, consulting several weeks after the death is relevant. When the initial shock subsides but difficulties persist or worsen, professional support becomes necessary.
Anniversaries, symbolic dates or significant events can intensely reactivate the pain. Consulting around these moments helps navigate these difficult periods.
Finally, it is never too late: even years after a death, if you realise that the grief has never truly been processed, therapy remains beneficial.
How to choose the right psychologist for grief support
Selecting a psychologist suited to your needs is essential for effective support. Not all psychologists specialise in grief therapy.
Favour a recognised professional specifically trained in supporting bereaved individuals. In Switzerland, verify that the psychologist is a member of the FSP (Swiss Federation of Psychologists).
The rapport with your therapist is crucial. You must feel confident, heard and respected. Do not hesitate to consult several professionals before making your choice.
Enquire about possible reimbursements through your complementary insurance in Switzerland, as psychological consultations are generally not covered by basic insurance.
Qualifications and specialisations to look for
Look for an FSP psychologist with specific training in grief therapy, thanatology or grief psychology. These specialisations guarantee in-depth understanding of loss processes.
Several therapeutic approaches have proven their effectiveness: cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) helps modify dysfunctional thoughts and behaviours related to grief.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) is particularly effective for traumatic grief, allowing painful memories to be reprocessed.
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) helps you live with the loss whilst rebuilding a meaningful life. Each approach has its advantages depending on your personal situation.
Questions to ask during first contact
During your first contact, ask concrete questions to assess the psychologist's suitability for your needs:
Do you have experience in grief support? For how long?
What is your therapeutic approach to treating grief?
How many sessions are generally necessary?
What is the fee per session and what reimbursements are possible?
Do you offer in-person or online consultations?
Observe how the psychologist responds: with transparency, empathy and professionalism. Your intuition matters: if you do not feel comfortable from the first contact, seek another professional.
A good therapist respects your pace and never forces you to address topics before you are ready.
The concrete benefits of psychological support
Grief therapy offers a safe space to express your emotions without judgement or censorship. This emotional release is often the first step towards healing.
The psychologist provides you with concrete tools to manage difficult emotions: breathing techniques, management of intrusive thoughts, daily coping strategies.
Support helps give meaning to the loss, understand your reactions and gradually accept the reality of the death. It is not about forgetting the deceased, but learning to live with their absence.
Therapy also prevents complications such as chronic depression, anxiety disorders or pathological grief. Consulting is not a sign of weakness, but an act of courage and self-care.
To support a loved one in their grief, consult our guide on how to support a bereaved person.
Grief is a profoundly personal ordeal that can sometimes exceed our coping abilities. Recognising the signs of complex grief, persistent symptoms, social isolation, sleep disturbances or intrusive thoughts, constitutes the first step towards wellbeing. Consulting a specialised psychologist is not an admission of weakness, but an act of courage and self-compassion.
Professional support offers a safe space to express your pain, understand your reactions and gradually regain emotional balance. Whether a few weeks after the death or several months later, it is never too early nor too late to ask for help.
At Wolky, we understand the importance of preserving the memory of your loved ones whilst navigating this difficult period. Our platform allows you to publish an obituary and create a commemorative space accessible to all, 24/7. A digital place of remembrance where family and friends can share memories and mutual support.
