How to write your funeral wishes: template and practical advice
Introduction
Talking about one's own death remains a delicate subject. Yet, writing your funeral wishes is an act of kindness towards your loved ones. By formalising your wishes during your lifetime, you spare them from having to make difficult decisions at a time of great emotion.
A funeral wishes document clarifies your preferences regarding the type of ceremony, the mode of funeral, the organisation of the obituary and many other practical aspects. It does not have the same legal value as a will, but it guides your loved ones in their choices.
This guide accompanies you step by step in writing your funeral wishes. You will discover what information to include, how to structure your document, where to keep it and how to communicate it to those around you. An annotated template will serve as a basis for creating your own document, adapted to your values and personal preferences.
Anticipating these questions is part of responsible advance funeral planning that respects everyone.
📌 Summary (TL;DR)
Writing your funeral wishes allows you to formalise your preferences regarding the ceremony, the type of funeral, the obituary and financial aspects. This document, without binding legal value, nevertheless guides loved ones in their decisions and relieves their emotional burden.
To be effective, it must include your detailed wishes, be kept in an accessible place, communicated to the people concerned and updated regularly according to the evolution of your personal situation.
📚 Table of contents
Why write your funeral wishes
Writing your funeral wishes is offering a precious gift to your loved ones. At the time of death, the family often finds itself helpless when faced with decisions that must be made quickly. A clear document helps relieve them of this emotional burden.
This document also avoids family conflicts. Everyone knows your real wishes, with no room for interpretation or disagreements. You thus guarantee respect for your personal, religious or philosophical convictions.
Important: funeral wishes only concern the organisation of the funeral. The will settles succession and estate matters. These are two distinct and complementary documents.
Advance funeral planning also reduces financial stress. Your loved ones know your budget and your priorities, which facilitates discussions with funeral homes.
Essential information to include
A comprehensive funeral document must cover all practical aspects of your funeral. Here are the key elements to detail in order to effectively guide your loved ones.
Each section answers a concrete question that your family will ask themselves. The more precise your document is, the less your loved ones will have to improvise at a difficult time.
Take the time to think about each point. You can complete the document progressively, as your thoughts develop. The essential thing is to create a clear framework that reflects your values and wishes.
Type of ceremony and religious rite
First specify the type of ceremony desired: religious (Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim), secular or civil. This information guides the entire organisation.
Indicate the location: church, temple, mosque, funeral parlour, home or outdoors. If you have a usual place of worship, mention it precisely.
Add your preferences for music (specific pieces, organist, choir), readings (religious texts, poems, literary extracts) and testimonies. Do you wish for loved ones to speak?
Do not hesitate to be specific. These details create a ceremony that truly resembles you.
Choice of funeral mode
Burial or cremation? This is the fundamental decision that structures everything else. Clearly express your preference.
If you choose cremation, specify what happens to the ashes: preservation in an urn (at a loved one's home or in a columbarium), scattering (specific authorised location), or burial of the urn in a plot.
For burial, indicate the desired cemetery. Is there a family plot? If not, should one be acquired? Mention your geographical preferences if you have several connections.
This decision has a significant financial and practical impact on your loved ones.
Preferences for the coffin and presentation
Describe the type of coffin desired: simple and sober, more elaborate, or ecological (cardboard, wicker, untreated wood). Your choice reflects your values.
Specify the clothes in which you wish to be presented: formal attire, everyday clothes, traditional or religious garments. These details matter to your loved ones.
Indicate your wishes regarding make-up and presentation of the body. Do you wish for an open casket or do you prefer a closed coffin?
These very personal elements deserve to be clearly expressed.
Organisation of the obituary
Specify where to publish the announcement: local press, regional newspapers, or online platform. Traditional press costs between 800 and 2,000 CHF. Wolky offers a digital solution at 180 CHF, accessible 24/7 and easy to share.
Indicate the desired content: sober and discreet, or more detailed with life story. Do you wish for a photo? Which one?
To write a clear and respectful message, consult our guide on how to write an effective obituary.
Mention if you prefer "no flowers or wreaths" and possibly suggest a donation to a charity.
People to notify and specific roles
Establish a list of people to contact as a priority: close family, close friends, important colleagues. Include their complete contact details to make the task easier.
Designate a trusted person to coordinate the organisation. This person will be the main contact with funeral homes and the family.
Do not forget professional contacts (employer, business partners), associative (clubs, associations) or community contacts who should be informed.
This list avoids oversights and delicate situations after death.
Budget and financial aspects
Indicate whether you have taken out funeral insurance. Mention the name of the company, the policy number and the amount of coverage.
Specify the maximum budget you wish to dedicate to the funeral. This information guides your loved ones in their choices and avoids excessive spending due to guilt.
Express your preference between simplicity and an elaborate ceremony. Both approaches are respectable and reflect different values.
Financial transparency avoids unpleasant surprises for your family. A clear budget allows for serene planning with service providers.
Annotated template for funeral wishes document
Here is a funeral wishes template that you can adapt to your situation. This document is distinct from the legal will which concerns succession.
MY FUNERAL WISHES
Document written on [date] by [full name]
Born on [date] in [place]
Residing at [full address]
1. Type of funeral
I wish for: ☐ Burial ☐ Cremation
[Specify the location or what happens to the ashes]
2. Ceremony
Type: ☐ Religious ☐ Secular ☐ Civil
Desired location: [specify]
Music: [titles or style]
Readings: [desired texts]
3. Presentation
Coffin: [desired type]
Clothes: [description]
Open casket: ☐ Yes ☐ No
4. Obituary
Publication: ☐ Press ☐ Online (e.g. Wolky)
Content: ☐ Sober ☐ Detailed
Photo: ☐ Yes ☐ No
5. Budget and insurance
Funeral insurance: ☐ Yes ☐ No [contact details]
Maximum budget: [amount] CHF
6. Trusted person
Name: [full name]
Telephone: [number]
Relationship: [specify]
7. People to contact as a priority
[List with contact details]
Done in [place], on [date]
Signature: [your handwritten signature]
This template covers the essential points. Adapt it according to your specific needs.
Practical and legal aspects
Understanding the legal scope of your funeral wishes and knowing how to store them correctly guarantees their effectiveness when needed.
These practical aspects are as important as the content itself. A well-written but unfindable document is useless.
Here is what you need to know about the legal value and storage of your document.
Legal value of the document
In Switzerland, funeral wishes do not have binding legal value. Unlike the will which governs succession, they constitute recommendations.
In practice, families generally respect these wishes. The document expresses your clear and considered will, which gives it strong moral authority.
Only exceptions: if your wishes violate the law (for example, scattering ashes in a prohibited place) or greatly exceed the available financial means, your loved ones may depart from them.
The clarity and precision of your funeral document reinforce its credibility and respect.
Where to keep your funeral wishes
Keep several copies of your document in places that can be accessed quickly. A single copy in a secret location is useless.
Recommended locations:
- A copy at your home, in a clearly identified folder (not in a locked drawer)
- A copy with your trusted person or a loved one
- A copy with your notary or family doctor
- A secure digital version (family cloud, email)
To avoid: the bank safe deposit box. Access can take several days after death, which delays the organisation of the funeral.
Explicitly inform your loved ones of the existence of the document and its location. Repeat this information regularly.
Should the document be authenticated?
Notarial authentication is not mandatory for funeral wishes. A handwritten, dated and signed document is perfectly sufficient.
Authentication can however reinforce the credibility of the document, particularly if you anticipate family tensions or possible disagreements.
The cost of notarial authentication varies between 100 and 300 CHF depending on complexity. It is an optional investment.
A document typed on a computer is also valid, provided it is dated and signed by your hand. A handwritten signature remains essential.
Communicating your wishes to your loved ones
Writing your funeral wishes is not enough. You must talk about them openly with your family to avoid surprises and misunderstandings.
Choose a calm moment, without urgency or tension. A family meal or a quiet conversation between two people can be the opportunity. Present your approach as an act of foresight and kindness.
Explain your choices without imposing them. Your loved ones may have questions or concerns. Listen to them and reassure them: this document relieves them, it does not constrain them.
Organise a family discussion if several people are concerned, or inform key people individually (spouse, children, trusted person).
This open communication transforms an administrative document into a genuine dialogue. It strengthens family bonds and prepares everyone serenely.
Regularly updating your wishes
Your funeral wishes must evolve with your life. Review your document every 3 to 5 years, or after a major event.
Events triggering an update:
- Moving to a new region
- Change in marital status (marriage, divorce, widowhood)
- Death of a loved one mentioned in the document
- Evolution of your religious or philosophical convictions
- Taking out or modifying funeral insurance
Date each new version and destroy old ones to avoid any confusion. Keep only the most recent version.
Inform your loved ones of significant changes. A simple message or discussion is enough: "I have updated my funeral wishes, the new version is in the same place."
This regular review guarantees that your wishes remain current and realistic. To deepen this approach, consult our guide on advance funeral planning.
Writing your funeral wishes is an act of kindness towards your loved ones. By taking the time to record your wishes regarding the ceremony, the mode of funeral, the budget and the people to notify, you spare them difficult decisions at a time of great emotional vulnerability.
This document does not have binding legal value in Switzerland, but it constitutes a precious guide for your family. Keep it in an accessible place, inform your loved ones of its existence and remember to update it regularly as changes occur in your life.
If you also wish to facilitate communication around your death, know that publishing an obituary on Wolky costs only 180 CHF and allows your loved ones to easily share the information with those around them, whilst creating a lasting memory space accessible to all.
